I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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