M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize