As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
