Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
