i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
