I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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