Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
