why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
