come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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