I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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