i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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