i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
