Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
