Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
