This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
