so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
