Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
