I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize