it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
