Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i will never coherently bang her
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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