Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
