I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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