Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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