The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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