You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
