I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
