Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
