Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
