Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
