did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you still have your period?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize