I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
