Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
