**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize