i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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