that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
