Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
