I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
