just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
