Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
