we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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