the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize