I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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