She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
