i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
