She's JV to your varsity
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
