Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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