forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
