sorry about calling you the devil all night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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