Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
