He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He kissed a someone with a penis
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
