He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize