Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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