you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
