When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
how drunk are you?
Several
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
