I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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