Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
