tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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