worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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