Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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