Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
