I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
