A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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