I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
